Funny Haiku Poems

haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense

she dances lithely
seduction under the moon
i- hey, a nickel!

My life is Jello
Sitting and waiting in the bowl
Patiently to gel

Yellow flowers spin.
The slimy, nosy ears trip.
Blue hedgehogs quiver.

Fluttering, stars bounce.
A cat sways carmine fruits.
Wisdom spreads water.

It feels like a rose,
on a string, like a yo-yo,
a ride at the fair - I hear.

Red tricycles trip.
Goofy tinkles blancmanges.
The noses giggle.

Winter admits joy.
Your full summer startles boats.
Earth startles flowers.

A bouncy boot laughs.
Smashing slime flips but bums hoot.
Nosy Grumpy slips.

A mouse paints jelly.
Bouncy sticky, rude toys slip.
Loud Droopy swings jam.

A banana burps.
Goofy farts and piggies pop.
The flowers chortle.

A Doom Haiku Poem:

Frag demons for hours
Stare at the screen with red eyes
it's time for class

Cat haiku poems:

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
"Elevator butt."

I need a new toy.
tail of black dog keeps good time.
pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand
New rule tomorrow

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning

Grace personified,
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Shoe laces
Must attack at once
Didn't know that was you.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
Your foot just squashed one

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper'?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around

Big tree, flashing lights
Climb, attack, chew, bite..
Locked in bathroom at night now

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

Want to trim my claws?
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake dead.

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh NO! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp ...

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
Your shoe will do.

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey"

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

Bath.. oh no
No you don't!! No way!!
That will need stitches

Evil yarn near masters feet
Danger I must save her
Attack Attack Attack

Brand new $900.00 couch
Ahh that fabric beneath my claws...
Why are we going to the vet?

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